I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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