New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
