I want to make a zoo with you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
