He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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