who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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