I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
