Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
