My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
