You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
