I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
