I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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