I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
