My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
