I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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