We're facebook friends in real life
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
