You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
