Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
