the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this boner is exhausting
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
