Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
