Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
