Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
