I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
