If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
