I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
