I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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