My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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