Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize