i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
