You work out of a Hotel?
I cannot find my penis.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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