What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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