check it out our google latitudes are spooning
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize