the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
