If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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