yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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