Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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