I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
