First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
