I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
