Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
