So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
