im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
