i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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