Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
