Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
