i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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