I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
