is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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