i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
