She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
