dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
