I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
